I think back to the the anxiety I had the day I left to embark on my first travel adventure abroad. I had gone against my mother’s wishes and booked a solo ticket to Europe in hopes to feed the urge that had been burning inside me since graduation. Sure, the idea of travelling to a foreign, unfamiliar place was daunting but at the same time I could not contain my excitement. I was finally doing it. I was taking a leap and headed into the unknown. I was embarking on the trip of a lifetime.
I had gotten so caught up in the trip itself that coming home was the last thought I had. Landing in YVR I was excited to see my family and friends, to tell them everything that had gone on since they’d seen me last. I landed and saw my family waiting for me. I was hit with a surge of excitement – yes I was happy to see them, but nothing could have prepared me for the wave of emotions I would feel upon returning home.
People always talk about leaving, but never about coming back. Time away gives you mental clarity, a break from the realities you face day to day. You are free to be who you are and do what you wish all while thinking “why can’t it always be like this?”. Then you realize it’s a fantasy, its almost as if everything you had just experienced was no longer, like a dream. How could a trip that just happened feel so far away? It’s shocking really. How quickly things continue once you’re back. And as each day went on I felt like I had truly never left.
Traveling sparked a change that I can’t quite put my finger on. Your knowledge broadens with each border you cross. I could feel myself begin to change inside, but was unable to find the words to express what triggered the change in the first place. Was it the culture, the history, or was it the relationships I built in such a short period of time? I came home with a new outlook on life ready to be the person I was while I was away. I felt like I had changed so much but realized that nothing and no one had changed around me once I returned.
My heart would sink each time I was asked about being home. I’d fake a smile and share my stories all while trying to find where I belong, because you feel as though no one truly understands what you have just experienced. You wish to pack your bags and leave again just to maintain a small grasp of the memories, to be around those who speak the same spirited language as you. Curiosity lights inside you that you wish to explore, and while everyone around me was planning their next career move or life plan I couldn’t help but question if there was more to life then what was in front of me.
Change is often a scary thing to grasp. We spend so much time pushing it away, remaining creatures of habit beating to the same drum as those around us. It is surprising how much we can truly learn about ourselves in such a short period of time if we just embrace the changes we so often run from. Things are put into perspective while you’re away. Your eyes are opened to endless possibilities, and after yet another experience abroad I am left with the same emotions. I’ve realised that after the bustle of being home is done, what’s left isn’t home at all. I am continually curious. Because of this my mind will forever be on the horizon, searching for the next destination I can explore.